This weekend the flippers, in their infinite wisdom, removed all but two of the mature (mostly native) shrubs in the back yard and limbed up the Doug fir. And because they decided to have some beers on the back deck afterward I realized that we no longer have any privacy between our two yards. This was my view:
Fun fact: if you google "jerkface" this weightlifter's mug pops up.
I was trying to work in the yard but the fact that I could see these guys and they could see me got me all worked up. I was practically hissing at them and I think I had a tiny stroke when one of the guys tried to engage me by yelling, "Hey, gardener!"
WHAT THE FUCK, I'M IN MY BACKYARD, WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO BE PRIVATE. I HATE YOU, I WISH YOU WOULD DIE.
Greg got home and I informed him that we needed to erect some sort of blind and also I wanted to move to the country so we wouldn't have to have neighbors. Back in the glory days, this was the view of this area:
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| My garden looks like shit but it's private! |
Nice canopy cover, lots of mature shrubs perfectly obscuring that area. Those shrubs (one a flowering quince) weren't just trimmed this weekend, they were completely removed. So they won't grow back to obscure the area.
I went into burn it down! mode and decided that not only did we need a screen right there right now but we needed to make a point while we did it. So I headed out to Bamboo Craftsman and explained my problem. He steered me toward Green Temple bamboo (Semiarundinaria fastuosa 'Viridis'). This is a tall bamboo that is very erect, with most of the fullness at the top. You can read more here. It's excellent for tall, narrow screening. It fills in quickly and thickly.
The best part is that the plants I bought are already tall enough that they'll screen out that area immediately.
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We've knocked out the little pony wall that used to have a gate attached to it. I liked having it there but Greg wanted to remove it to open up the entrance to the garden. I liked the slow reveal.
It's gone now. You win, Greg.
The plan is to install a stock tank here (it'll be ready for pickup on Wednesday) and soften the area in front with pots and grasses.
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| Behold my MS Paint skills! |
Any advice on making this look not-dumb is welcome. I want my garden to say, "Welcome to my garden! Unless I haven't specifically invited you; then you can get the hell out!" I need my quiet space.
More to come once we get everything installed!
I have often also wanted to move to the country to get rid of neighbors. At least no one ever yells "Hey gardener" at me. I'm also trying to figure out why you have a desk in your back yard with bamboo plants sitting at it looking like they're getting ready to type a letter.
ReplyDeleteThat's an ikea outdoor dining table. The sides can be moved up so it can seat more, but it looks like a desk when they are down. We have the pots of bamboo wedged in there so they won't fall over in the wind. :)
ReplyDeleteMy back neighbors put up white plastic trellis and blue tarp when we cut down the row of Arboritae !
ReplyDeleteAs soon as I started reading your post, I thought "she needs bamboo." I had similar problems at our old house, which was part of a very densely populated neighborhood. I had to create my own screens (or "jungle," as a neighbor put it) to gain a modicum of privacy too. Best wishes in regaining your privacy!
ReplyDeleteWell I guess that's one way to do it. The funny thing is that the removal of the shrubs in their yard means that I can see the blue plastic tarp from two houses down. Neighbors are the worst.
ReplyDeleteI totally feel your pain (you know I do)! Sometimes I stop and realize that there is literally not one single place in our garden where we have privacy...not ONE! I hope your bamboo restores privacy!
ReplyDeleteI feel for you so much. You have it so much worse in your yard. We need to get you a double lot, stat!
ReplyDeletethis made me lol
ReplyDeleteYep, I could happily be a hermit - as long as I was only about 1/2 an hour from the stores I need! Are there fence-height restrictions in Portland? Could you add something to the top of your fence to make it tall enough to block the view?
ReplyDeleteMy fence is four feet tall and consists of a big X held up with a piece of wood on the top and bottom. Privacy does not exist here and I am always on display. Fortunately, I like my neighbors. I like the stock tank/bamboo idea. A huge redwood would fill in the space nicely as would a live oak or giant weeping willow. You can always make them arsenic brownies. It's completely organic as is lead. It would be so thoughtful of you.
ReplyDeleteI thought the same thing as Alison (desk/bamboo) but kept puzzling until I figured it out. Good for you in going right out and taking matters into your own hands. Tonight I found out that one half of the double painted U.G.L.Y. garage (and it's house) goes on the market this week...that means new neighbors behind our patio. My breath is held and I am afraid. Thank god we've got the bamboo in place should they remove what's left of the screening laurel. I don't understand why privacy isn't at the top of everyone's list, at least in the back yard.
ReplyDeleteOh, my fingers are crossed that you get good, quiet neighbors!
ReplyDeleteMy neighbor on the left has cut down almost all their bamboo giving me a great view of the busy street and crummy apartments (and sometimes open air drug market) from across their double lot. And increased noise. She likes to clear. She has also cleared numerous mature shrubs. I asked if she was going to plant anything. No. She likes to clear. And mow. My neighbor to the right had workmen come on to my side of driveway strip (when there was a wire fence) and cut down trees. We don't speak now. Fun times. The church across the street has systematically killed almost all shrubs (crazy incessant pruning into gumdrops) and trees (mostly parking on grass on root zone for precious shade). I paid our neighborhood association to plant four trees on their property (to block my view of their parking lot) and once tree water bags came off the trees were promptly damaged by weed whacking (one surely fatally although it did leaf out. My rear view is all bamboo. The crazy invasive kind that was here though about half as much when we moved in. Totally worth it. Neighbors DO suck.
ReplyDeleteYou could add some lattice or something - fastened to the top of your fence. Then vines!
ReplyDeleteGood job on the bamboo -- much better than the Leyland cypress I stupidly planted and then had to remove 5 years later before they took over my whole sector of NE Portland. Evergreen screening - it's what we all need, people -- don't go removing it esp. when you are not even going to occupy the house!
ReplyDeleteOh boy, you have it much, much worse than I do. I've never understood the need most people have to hack back shrubs. You could just leave them! They won't uproot themselves in the middle of the night and murder you!
ReplyDeletePortland restricts fences to 6' (including any lattice) unless you have a permit. :(
ReplyDeleteAmen!
ReplyDeleteYou made me google jerkface now! Good choice on the bamboo and hopefully it will get taller quick enough to restore some of the lost privacy.
ReplyDeleteAfter having privacy and screening for quite some time it does make you feel exposed now doesn't it? Neighbours eh!
Hi Heather, I've been occasionally stopping by your blog ever since Houzz featured your awesome house. I read about your neighbor woes today, then saw this pin on pinterest. http://www.pinterest.com/pin/36310340721072912/ Maybe trees mixed with your bamboo would look nice? The way the trees are pruned in the picture, it looks like they might not shade lower plants too much. So anyway, good luck, and thanks for sharing your writing. :)
ReplyDeleteOh boy do I feel your pain! We had 4 homes put up in our back yard and 3 more to the side. My only solution was to move mature shrubs around and hope they blocked the view. They do kinda sorta but it's still a work in progress.
ReplyDeleteGreat call on researching the bamboo! You know I'm kicking myself for selecting what now is clearly a slow growing variety. You are such a wiz with garden design that I suspect you'll have your entrance perfect in no time flat!
ReplyDeleteStupid, plant-ignorant jerks. Why don't people get it that back yards are for privacy. If you want public space, hang out in your front yards, people! I like what you're doing and hope that nice-looking bamboo grows very quickly into an impenetrable screen.
ReplyDeleteThe bamboo is a great solution. Are your sure you don't need TWO tanks? But being in the country doesn't always result in good neighbors. I have mostly had great neighbors, but for about ten years we had a gun nut next door. Serious. Elephant gun, rapid fire military guns, and everything else. And he loved to shoot. Sometimes at 2 AM. I was so glad when he left, and wanted to send sympathy cards to his new neighbors.
ReplyDeleteI too would be furious with the people flipping the house. Why would they remove those shrubs? Do they think a yard without landscaping is more appealing? Good luck with your bamboo screen.
ReplyDeleteHeather, I wanted to suggest to you another great screening plant that we have used in the exact same way: azara microphylla. The downside is that it's not as tall as your bamboo and it will take a few years to get there. But, the upside is that I think you'll find it provides much more beauty and seasonal interest!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Troy! I have one of those in another part of my yard so I completely agree. :)
ReplyDeleteYour post is so funny, but I would be dying too with no privacy in my back yard. And to be yelled at -- Hey, gardener! -- is the worst. When we moved into our current house, the middle-school girl living in the house behind ours would climb up on her playscape so she could see over our fence and holler "hello!" when we were working in the yard or swimming in the pool. Perhaps I should have been charmed, but I wasn't. Happily she outgrew that.
ReplyDeleteWe are restricted to 6' (that includes any trellises or arbors), so I'm stuck with plants to block the view!
ReplyDeleteIt's funny you mention that--we have two sweet kids that live behind us who love to YELL, "Heffffffffffffffffffffffer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and when I say, "Yes?" they just reply, "Hi." Then they repeat the process 600 times. They were doing that the afternoon that the guy was yelling "hey gardener!" and I thought I was going to have a stroke.
ReplyDeleteHeather, I'm totally blaming you for the fact that I Googled "jerkface" and then got mildly addicted to Happy Wheels. :-) Eeeewwww...
ReplyDeleteOkay, I'm blaming you that I googled Happy Wheels! ;)
ReplyDeleteWow. Just wow. Makes me feel a bit better about my backyard. In the three years we've lived here, several of the neighbors whose properties adjoin our backyard have not planted any trees - including one to replace a tree that died. People here (Middle TN) seem addicted to grass. They cultivate it assiduously for no apparent purpose. I've planted some junipers (Eastern Red Cedars) for screening and some Panicum virgatum Northwind that is supposed to grow 6+ feet tall. Hopefully that will help a little. But I've got a big backyard. I think I'll have to do a lot more planting yet to get privacy.
ReplyDeleteFortunately, we do have five sorta-mature crape myrtles alongside our back patio. When they're leafed out (April to November) they do provide a decent amount of privacy.
But how I wish the folks around us would Plant More Trees!
Oh, I love crape myrtles! Those must look so lovely. We have grass addicts here, too. I'll never understand it.
ReplyDeleteThey look fantastic when leafed out -- and especially in flower. The White Natchez types are actually pretty good at attracting bees too :)
ReplyDeleteWhile we're far enough South that crapes can survive our winters (usually) and thrive in our hot summers, we're north enough that they're bare from around mid-November to mid-April. That's the main drawback with crape myrtles here.
Well, that and the fact that many people butcher/murder them - http://aggie-horticulture.tamu.edu/archives/parsons/publications/stopthecrape.html
I just stumbled upon your blog. My 75ish next door neighbor likes to sit out side in swim trunks all summer long (or any summer day). He talks loudly to everyone and gets in everyones business. Years ago I was upstairs nursing my baby and had tree trimmers over cleaning things up in my yard. I dozed off. When I woke up and came downstairs he had paid them to take down all the arborvitae between our yards in the front, which was the only thing blocking a busier street. I was FURIOUS. He had already cut down an absolutely beautiful vine maple earlier in the year that hung beautifully onto my side of the fence. I was sure the arborvitae were on my side, so I had the property surveyed. Turns out the trunks were just barely on his side, while everything else was on mine. That was five years ago and I'm only now getting over it because we planted lots on our side. At least I know no one can take our plants down! Hopefully your bamboo will give you some peace of mind!
ReplyDeleteJust reading that made my blood pressure rise. I'm glad you're finally getting your privacy back!
ReplyDelete