There's a new man in my life

His name is Louie. I looooove him.

Pinus strobus 'Louie'

I went with Scott to the Salem Hardy Plant Society sale two weekends ago, which was GREAT. It was smaller, very well curated, and not super crowded. We were able to go to each and every booth, really look at what they had, then circle back and buy stuff. You paid the vendors directly so there were no mega lines to deal with, either.

Scott and I were making the rounds and he said, "Oh, Heather, look over there . . ." and I RAN to Louie and started running my hands all over the needles. I looked like an idiot and I promptly got a rash all over my arms. I'm the coolest!

I'd just gotten paid the day before so I was feeling like I needed to make up for the fact that I missed the Fall HPSO sale because I was broke. I've been in love with Louie ever since I saw him in Carolyn Kolb's garden.

Photo by Loree Bohl. Source

I always see Pinus contorta 'Chief Joseph' at spring plant sales and I die a little when I see that it costs more than my mortgage to buy a tiny six inch seedling.

Pinus contorta 'Chief Joseph'. Image source: WSU

Chief Joseph has a superior color in winter but it fades to green come spring. Louie remains a golden beacon all year long. I swear the photos are leaving him so much less golden than he appears in real life!

I've taken to storing my newest acquisitions on the back deck so I can make googoo eyes at them from bed. It's gotten a little tight out there. The other adoption that I'm so excited about?

Helwingia chinensis. This is a plant I heard about in Dan Hinkley's "Foliage First" talk at the Yard Garden & Patio show. Those flowers are fused to the leaf and eventually they'll form a fruit:

It's evergreen and it's got that pretty purple veining. It's hardy down to 0 and it's available at Dancing Oaks.

Except, wait. I bought the male form. Does that mean no fruit? Do I need to buy a lady version now? Shit, the Internet says yes. Who wants to take a road trip to Dancing Oaks?

Leycesteria formosa, my favorite plant in the garden this week

You can probably guess why. Oh, those pagodas of fruit!

I got this Himalayan honeysuckle from Ricki at a plant exchange. I've come to realize that if Ricki tells you you need a plant, you listen.

The foliage has a nice color with branches that arch and layer pleasingly.

The flowers are fairly unremarkable and I detect no fragrance on mine, though others report it has one. Reports also vary on its hardiness: Davesgarden reports 4a-9b while Annie's Annuals says 9-11. Has anyone below 8b grown this one? Where it doesn't die back to the ground in winter it can be cut back hard in the spring to keep its size in check. Mature size sounds to be 6-8' tall and wide.

Reports also vary about where it should be sited. Mine is in part sun and gets regular water. It seems content so far. I'm so glad I found a spot for it.

My favorite plant in the garden this week is hosted by Loree at Danger Garden. Be sure to check out what she's liking this week!

The Michelle Duggar of agaves

I was deadheading yesterday and I noticed that I had some agave pups that I could relocate. When I looked closer, one agave had a petticoat of pups that you could barely see, they were so smashed underneath. I actually had to dig Mama Duggar up, unwind all the pups, and put her back in the ground.

Mama Duggar this winter, plotting her fecundity

All but one of these came from this agave.

NOID Agave americana?

I thought it only right to give them names.

Edited to add: if any of you are unfamiliar with the Duggars, they're an obnoxious family that had their own show on TLC because they had 19 kids, all of whom were named with J names. She was going to keep having babies "as long as the lord wanted her to." Now they lobby Congress to outlaw birth control. Ick.

Now take it easy, lady. You've given me something to take to the next plant exchange! Your work here is done.

How's your agave crop this year?

Ready for insulation

I'm also ready for my nervous breakdown. I don't know why, but this upgrade-the-electrical-and-insulate-the-house project has broken me. Oh wait, I know why: it's really freaking expensive and disruptive. Again, I would never survive a full-scale remodel.

I'm going to apologize in advance for how whiny I'm being. Break out your tiny violins.

I mentioned a while back that Greg was going to invest in the house and pay for electrical upgrades and insulation, but that changed. Everything is fine with the two of us but it left me scrambling to apply for financing and it annihilated my savings to pay the electrician. As expected, everything took a bit longer than expected, if that makes sense.

The financing took place with Umpqua Bank with a really obnoxious man who kept asking, "No husband? You're doing this by yourself?" Then he slowly explained how a checking account works and what would happen if I "just had to have that diamond ring" and overdrafted my account. I am not making this shit up.

Have I mentioned that I've been having insomnia so I cut alcohol out of my diet? It's like I'm not thinking sometimes.

Anyway. Our electrician finished all the work in the attic! Instead of wires hanging out of our living room ceiling we have this super cheap Ikea fixture.

I'm not sure this is an upgrade.

I want something beautiful and dangling in here eventually but I have no money right now. So a cheap Ikea fixture it is! Yay, throwaway culture. The good news is that my electrician redesigned the wiring so things make a modicum of sense. Everything's up to code! If we die in a house fire it probably won't be due to sketchy wiring!

I also had him put in a new receptacle in the hallway so we can better see how badly we need to vacuum.

I grabbed these $39 schoolhouse fixtures from Lamps Plus, then went into a shame spiral over how they were made in China and I should have bought real Schoolhouse Electric fixtures and supported a local company.

We really need to vacuum.

Then Greg came out and said, "I think the scale is wrong and they're too big for the space," which made me start worrying about that. But you know what? I'd rather they be too big than too small. And everyone is going to be distracted by the fact that we need to vacuum so badly in here, and then they'll be noticing that our rug is the wrong length for the hallway. So it doesn't matter.

If you need me I'll be here, waiting for my waaahmbulance and reminding myself that things could be worse. I'm not destitute, nor do I live in a country where I could be punished for being a woman and driving a car. I can put up with stupid loan officers. Also: my mother sent me this:

Reference

She's the best.

And lo, there was hyperbole!

Guys, these lights almost killed us.

I came home from the gym last week after attending one of those classes with an oily bohunk who makes you lunge and lift and squat, all the while yelling, "faster! faster!" while he flexes his enormous, hairless muscles at you. It felt like I was part of a movie montage where the nerds try to get in shape but they're hopelessly flabby.

Anyway. I got home from the gym and the electrician had wired up the receptacles we installed and Greg was like, "Should we hang up the lights now?"

I was like, "Um, of COURSE we should hang those right now. But let me go throw up first and then I think I'm supposed to drink a glass of egg yolks."

There were a series of errors, beginning with the fact that the sun was going down, so we were working by headlamp. Next: Greg was hangry. He's a very sweet man until he gets hungry and then he gets mean. Third: At some point I dropped one of the nuts that attaches the fixture to the ceiling and it rolled away to parts unknown, laughing most likely. Remember how Greg was hangry? This was not our best moment. And we couldn't install the last light fixture.

Also: at some point I misplaced one of the Edison bulbs that came with the light fixture and we didn't have a replacement. We spent 20 minutes tearing the house apart looking for it.

I went and took a shower, during which time Greg located the missing nut! I came out from the shower and we finished the last light installation. Thank freaking goodness.

Nine hours after we started this project I flipped the breaker back on and hit the brand new dimmer switch . . . and nothing happened. Sonofabitch.

There was nothing to be done except go to dinner (at 9:30! so European!) and bemoan our lack of a proper reveal. We assumed the problem was in the dimmer switch, since our electrician seems to know what he's doing. After dinner Greg decided to swap out the new dimmer switch with the old one and voila! it freaking worked. FINALLY.

We were missing a bulb but it was still pretty glorious. To celebrate I promptly got a migraine that lasted four days.

But I'm fine now! And lights! Such pretty lights! Such pretty holes in the ceiling that need to be patched! Boy, I don't feel like doing that at all!

But if I've learned anything from movie montages it's that my muscles will soon be huge, I will get the girl, and you will find me either yelling Adwian!Adwian!* or singing We Are the Champions with my buddies** at the end of all this.

I love movie references. I love lamp***. The end.

*see: Rocky.
**see: Revenge of the Nerds.
***see: Anchorman.

This is why we can't have nice things

The other I day woke after sleeping poorly, went to work for nine hours, went to the gym, gave a quick garden tour to a friend's parents, ran to a class a different friend was giving, ran home and ate dinner at 9:30pm, then I poured myself a glass of wine and got into bed with my iPad (and Greg).

Then I knocked the glass of wine, of which I hadn't drank a drop, onto the bed, soaking the white duvet, the pillows, the sheets, the rug, the wall, etc, with red wine.

So if I ever stop blogging for a while and you wonder, "What's Heather up to?" I'm probably doing laundry. Thank goodness for bleach; everything came clean but I'm considering purchasing wine sippy cups.

Have a wonderful weekend!

My favorite plant in the garden . . . this week

I feel a little silly naming this week's favorite plant. It's like admitting that you find holding chubby, adorable babies who don't cry much to be awesome. Who doesn't like those things? It's easy.

And yet my favorite plant this week in my garden is my Colocasia esculenta 'Black Coral'. It's big and beautiful and easy to grow (it just wants lots of water). The biggest leaf is almost 2' long.

The inky purple coloring is fantastic, too. The stats, per Plant Delights:

Hardy zones 7b-10
Sun or part-sun
42" max height.

I was skeptical about this one when I planted in May because it looked so sad. Luckily it got down to business once the weather warmed.

May: newly planted and cat-proofed

My Colocasia 'Coffee Cups' isn't so bad either.

My Favorite Plant in the Garden this Week is hosted by Loree at Danger Garden. Be sure to check out her pick this week: Hedychium coccineum 'Tara'.